


Facade

by SecretlyACatLady



Series: Masks [1]
Category: Dragon Quest Series, Dragon Quest XI
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, Spoilers, because of the thing you do in the post-game, others are mentioned - Freeform, the hero is called Eleven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 03:45:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16297532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretlyACatLady/pseuds/SecretlyACatLady
Summary: Eleven didn't show his emotions often but it wasn't like he was completely expressionless.OrFive times Eleven showed strong emotions and one time he did the exact opposite.(Spoilers up until the battle in the castle & celestial sand event in post-game. You know the one)





	Facade

Erik's first impression of Eleven could be described with one word.

Strange.

He didn't mean it in a bad way – Erik had experience with strange folks, as thievery wasn't exactly an occupation for common, dull people. He had met and interacted with a bunch of colorful folks, each with their own quirks and personalities.

However, even Erik had to wonder how Eleven had been able to escape from the knights, monsters and a goddamn dragon without ever changing his expression.

At first, Erik had assumed that the Luminary was still processing his situation – being thrown into the dungeons and having your name slandered as the Darkspwan was a lot to take in. However, when time passed and Eleven continued being quiet, calm and sometimes even expressionless, Erik realized that this wasn't just some temporary thing – that this was just how Eleven was.

If Erik had to be honest, the realization left him kinda disappointed. Every child in Erdrea, both fortunate and poor, had heard at least a few stories of the legendary Luminary, of his heroic journey to defeat evil. They were common bedtime stories, a way for parents and guardians to inspire their offspring to be just like Erdwin; courageous, kind and fair.

Even Erik had managed to read several stories of Erdwin's heroics – in fact, he had learned how to read with the help of a children's book about the Luminary back when he was a brat – and his mind had developed a certain image of the Legendary Luminary.

And so, when the Seer had told him that he would meet the Luminary, Erik had expected something akin to a demi-god.

What he got was Eleven. A young man barely out of the boyhood, who came from a small village and had never fought anything bigger than a slime.

However, the disappointment had crumbled to dust soon after Erik had realized it – because there was something about Eleven that sparked fierce devotion in Erik's chest and soothed his jittery instincts.

However, it would be nice if Eleven was just a tad more expressive, Erik thought as he and Eleven withdrew their weapons after a fight. They were on their way back to Cobblestone and yet, the Luminary's expression was as blank as an empty canvas.

It was frustrating; Erik had always thought of himself to be good at reading people but the iron-hard control Eleven had over his emotions was nearly unreadable. Granted, they had known each other for a few short days but it still bothered Erik.

Was Eleven concerned about the fate of Cobblestone? Confused by the whole mess they had stumbled upon? Nervous because they were practically wandering in the dark with bare-boned directions? The questions flew inside Erik's mind like a flock of birds but he held his tongue. This wasnät the time for idle chitchatting, no matter how curious he was.

It was only a few hours later Erik first witnessed Eleven lose some of his control, soon after they reached Cobblestone.

Or rather, the remains of it.

This whole situation was baffling, Erik thought to himself as he looked around. Smoke was still raising up into the sky, polluting the air and making Erik feel slightly dizzy. Shattered glass and crumbled pieces of clay pots crunched under his boots no matter where he walked and the sound felt like a taunting reminder of what had happened.

Erik grimaced, eyes wandering to Eleven's back. Now, thanks to the odd vision, they had some sort of destination – but the knights were chasing after them and they knew where the Luminary's hometown was. Soon, the ruins of Cobblestone would be swarming with soldiers.

They needed to leave quickly.

Telling Eleven that didn't feel quite right when the youth was still in shock but Erik did so anyway, making sure his voice was as sympathetic as possible. To his slight surprise, Eleven didn't resist and wordlessly nodded his head.

To ease some of his conscience, Erik suggested that they should take another route back to the exit, just in case there was somebody who knew something about the fates of the villagers. Eleven kept his mouth shut and started walking ahead of Erik, his movements stiff.

The thief bit his lip, gaze on Eleven's back. He should probably say something, offer a comforting word or two because Erik knew what it was like to lose a loved one.

However, before Erik had a chance to open his mouth, Eleven suddenly froze.

“What's wrong?” Erik asked, peeking over Eleven's shoulder to see what had caught his attention. It was a house, or the ruins of one, that stood on top of a small hill apart from the rest of the village.

Erik winced. That must have been where Eleven lived, he realized, turning his focus back to the Luminary.

Eleven was shaking, hands clenching the fabric of his jacket so tightly his knuckles were white.

Unable to stay quiet any longer, Erik took several steps forward until he was standing next to Eleven and rested his hand on the Luminary's shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly.

“They're probably alive, you know,” Erik stated, voice soothing like he was talking to an injured animal.

“Who knows.” Eleven's voice was hoarse, “I.. I can't let myself hope that in case... In case it isn't true.”

“The knights wouldn't go through the trouble of taking the villagers away if they planned to...get rid of them later,” Erik reasoned while shaking his head, “It wouldn't make any sense.”

The shoulder under Erik's hand tensed, “Does anything about this whole mess make any damn sense ?!” Eleven suddenly snapped loudly, tearing his gaze from the ruins of his home to look at Erik.

And that was when Erik realized his mistake.

Eleven wasn't shaking because he was sad.

No.

He was _furious_.

The burning rage in Eleven's expression startled Erik. His lips were twisted into a half-snarl, baring some of his teeth, and the normally passive azure eyes were seething with such intensity that Erik barely prevented himself from flinching.

However, the Luminary's anger was like a flame; it burned brightly but quickly and some of it died as soon as the harsh words were out of Eleven's mouth. The Luminary inhaled deeply as he took a step backward, shoulders slumping and eyes glued to the ground.

“Sorry...” Eleven mumbled, shame oozing from his voice, “I didn't mean to snap – you have been nothing but helpful and friendly and... You don't deserve this kind of treatment.”

The sincerity in Eleven's tone made Erik's heart ache and he quickly shook his head, “No, you don't need to apologize,” he assured, hesitating how to continue. Eleven was right – none of this made any sense – but saying so felt dooming the villagers' lives. “This situation is... confusing,” Erik ended up finishing with a slight grimace. He had never been good at comforting.

However, the corners of Eleven's lips twitched upwards as he raised his eyes to face Erik. “Thank you,” the Luminary said and Erik didn't know what it was; the grateful tone, the honest eyes, the kind smile or all of them but suddenly Erik felt like there were hundreds of butterflies flapping their wings inside of his stomach.

-  
-  
-  
-

The air inside the Puerto Valor Casino smelled almost stagnantly sweet.

That was the first thought Erik tended to have whenever he visited the place. The smell was strong, a mixture of a floral perfume and alcohol that could probably intoxicate people if they stayed inside too long.

And yet, that stink didn't discourage people from spending time in the casino, Erik mused to himself as he stared at the crowd from his table at the bar. The sun had barely set and the place was already full of optimistic patrons wishing for a chance at a better life.

So many potential purses to steal, Erik thought wistfully as he took another sip of his drink. His muscles were sore from yet another day of searching for the remaining Orbs. The temptation for some old-fashioned pickpocketing was making his fingertips itch – although it was for the sake of nostalgia rather than gaining gold and jewelry and whatever it was these people carried in their pockets.

Besides, Erik was traveling with the Luminary now, he couldn't start acting like a criminal.

Speaking of which, Erik let his gaze sweep the wide hall before landing on the familiar purple jacket by the poker table. Eleven wasn't alone – at some point, Sylvando had mysteriously sauntered into the casino and was currently hovering behind the Luminary, one hand stroking his chin. Both of them were staring at the poker table with identical, contemplating expressions.

Erik propped his head on his palms, still focused on the pair. Eventually, Eleven pointed one of the cards and the dealer flipped it around. Judging by Sylvando's tense shoulders and Eleven's death grip on the edge of the poker table, they were playing _double or nothing_ for a high amount of tokens.

Letting out a huff of laughter, Erik couldn't help but grin at the scene. For the longest time, Erik has had the impression that Eleven was the pure epitome of the goody-two-shoes act, the kind of guy who helped kittens from trees and escorted old ladies across busy streets – both things that Erik had firsthand witnessed the Luminary do during their time together.

There was also the fact that something about Eleven just emitted innocence, which was probably because he had lived his whole life in a sheltered environment. He didn't drink alcohol and according to Eleven, the only reason he approached the puff-puff girls was because he was curious to see what their idea of puff-puff was – and that he would immediately stop if the girl seemed even remotely like she was going to put his head between her boobs, a fact that had helped Erik to snuff out the burning jealousy in the bottom of his stomach.

So, imagine Erik's surprise the first time they had stumbled into the casino and Eleven had said, “Oh cool, they have poker.” before marching to the token counter. That hadn't been the end of surprises, as once Eleven had rejoined them, Erik had to ask if he even knew how to play any of the games there.

Eleven had just given him a small half amused and half exasperated smirk before saying, “There aren't a lot of ways to pass time in Cobblestone other than fishing and playing cards games.”

After that, Eleven had sauntered to the poker table and proceeded to win over 4000 tokens in one sitting.

Erik pursed his lips as Eleven pointed at another card. As soon as the dealer flipped it, Sylvando inhaled sharply and grasped Eleven by the shoulders. A small crowd had gathered around them, all of them equally tense like they were the ones playing.

Curiosity piqued, Erik stood up and started making his way to the poker table. Sylvando whispered something into Eleven's ear and the younger man nodded.

Just when Erik was about to announce his presence, Sylvando loudly exclaimed, “Here's a kiss for good luck, honey!” and leaned down to press his lips against Eleven's cheek.  
  
Erik almost tripped over his feet. The dealer and several other people chuckled at the display and Eleven gave Sylvando a small nod of gratitude with an amused grin. However, before the Luminary could return his attention back to the poker table, Sylvando murmured something to him, voice too low for Erik to hear.

But whatever it was, it made Eleven blush deeply. He turned his head to look at Sylvando, eyes wide, lips parted and the whole face burning.

Erik had never seen Eleven looking so aghast.

Just what could have Sylvando said to him, Erik wondered as he pushed through the crowd to approach his friends, a mixture of emotions gnawing his stomach. He was curious, ridiculously so, because he had never seen Eleven get embarrassed – Erik had witnessed the Luminary do some of Sylvando's dance routines with a perfectly expressionless face; had seen him being teased by Veronica without even blinking and had observed him being perfectly calm when people commented him on his looks.

Eleven had been threatened by drunkards, been tempted and flirted with by women and men alike and all he ever did was nod politely and say with perfectly calm voice, “Thank you, but no thank you.”

So, Erik had expected the curiosity. What he hadn't expected was the slightest tinge of envy curling around his stomach like a snake. It was quite startling, in a way – the only jealousy Erik had ever felt had been directed towards riches and finery, never towards another person.

But then again, Eleven was exceptional in many ways, Erik sighed, cursing his stupid little crush and childishness. Feeling envious because Sylvando somehow managed to do the seemingly impossible felt irrational and unfair to the entertainer so he easily pushed that feeling into the furthest corner of his mind.

Eleven was the first one to notice Erik approaching and the thief didn't know if it was just his imagination but it seemed like the blush on the Luminary's cheeks deepened. “Yo, what are you two scheming?” Erik asked casually.

“Oh, hello darling!” Sylvando exclaimed, the delight in his tone obvious. “What a fabulous timing!”

Brows raised, Erik was about to ask what Sylvando meant by that when the dealer coughed daintily, “Sirs, if you could...?” she trailed off as her eyes flickered to the table, tone professional but the corners of her mouth kept twitching upwards.

“Ah, s-sorry,” Eleven stuttered as he turned his gaze back to the cards but something told Erik that he seemed relieved by the change of subject.

Eventually, Eleven pointed at the card in far right.

Thirty minutes later, their whole group left the casino, carrying more tokens than they knew how to spend because somehow, Eleven had managed to win them a jackpot worth of tokens with _double or nothing_ alone.

-  
-

(“Here's a kiss for good luck, honey!” Sylvando declared loudly before smacking his lips on Eleven's cheek.

Eleven chuckled, giving a grateful nod to his friend. Some of the tension vanished from his shoulders but when he was about to return his attention back to the cards, Sylvando leaned closer and quietly whispered into his ear:

“Although you probably would rather have Erik give you kisses, right darling?”

The heat that overtook Eleven's face was uncomfortable and foreign – it was rare for him to blush so strongly and one quick glance towards Sylvando made it clear that even the entertainer was quite surprised.

However, just like the blush adorning his face, the feelings Eleven held towards Erik were unfamiliar to him. For the longest time, he had been too focused on training his swordsmanship and exploring the mountains surrounding Cobblestone to even think about stuff like crushes, dating or even marriage.

And then, as cheesy as it sounded, a certain thief had stolen Eleven's heart. His feelings had grown gradually, growing bigger and bigger in the shadows. In the beginning, it had been easy to ignore the feelings despite the fact that they traveled together – their growing group and mission had been an excellent distraction.

And then Gondolia and Jasper had happened and suddenly, those feelings had slapped Eleven in the face.

Eleven took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. He let his gaze wander, desperately seeking something to focus on, something that would help him compose himself.

Naturally, he wasn't that lucky.

“Yo,” Erik greeted him and Sylvando with a wave of his hand. The lighting in the Casino was poor but Eleven's heart still skipped a beat when he laid his eyes on the rogue. “What are you two scheming?”

 _Goddess above, please help me_ , Eleven begged in his mind.)

-  
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-  
-

Erik had never seen Eleven cry.

However, everyone had their breaking point.

And unbeknownst to Erik, there was a moment when Eleven had shed tears. But at that time, the only witness was but a humble fisherman trying to survive in a world without Yggdrasil, who didn't know how to comfort the strange youth in his boat – nor did he know the weight of the burden the youth carried on his shoulders.  
  
-  
-  
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-

Erik was in the middle of cleaning his knives when somebody stepped between him and the crackling campfire. Frowning, he raised his head to meet Eleven's eyes.

“Yo,” Erik greeted the Luminary with a wave of his hand. “Finished with forging for tonight?”

Erik had to admit that he never expected Eleven to become as enthralled with the Fun Sized Forge as he ended up being – the Luminary was constantly on the lookout for more materials and recipes and every time he found something new, he wanted to try it out immediately.

Sometimes Erik wondered if Eleven suggested camping just so he could use the forge – not that he minded because watching the Luminary forge stuff was entertaining.

(It had nothing do with the fact that sometimes Eleven spent so much time with the forge that he removed his jacket and showed Erik what a greatsword training did to arms and backside, nope, had nothing to do with that.)

Besides, that experience was proving to be extremely valuable, considering the fact that they were on their way to forge the Sword of Light.

“Yeah.” Eleven shifted his feet before hurriedly adding, “Can... Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Well, that was new. Erik blinked, surprise probably written all over his face as he nodded. Eleven gestured towards the edge of the clearing. Erik understood the message, sheathed his knives and got up, curiosity piqued. The thief wasn't sure if it was his imagination or not but the Luminary seemed jittery.

They didn't go far, Erik still had a clear view of the campsite but it was still far enough to have a private... whatever it was Eleven wanted to do.

And just like that, the strangeness of the situation dawned to Erik. They had traveled together for months, had experienced an array of events and yet, this was the first time Eleven wanted to have a conversation outside of the campsite.

However, Erik didn't dare to get his hopes up.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Erik asked, crossing his arms over his chest and willing his voice to sound casual despite his quickening heartbeat – because Erik wasn't an idiot, he had seen the winks and suggestive eyebrow waggles every time he and Eleven were chatting, he had heard the soft giggles and how Sylvando often hummed the wedding march and he liked to think that their friends weren't that cruel to do those things without any foundation.

“N-Nothing,” Eleven stuttered, his voice strangely high-pitched. But before Erik had time to feel even a hint of disappointment, the Luminary continued, “I just, uh, wanted to give you these.” he suddenly stepped forward, one hand digging something out of his pant pocket before handing it over to Erik.

Brows furrowed, Erik's gaze dropped to the item offered to him. It was a simple pouch made of a rough fabric, smaller than his palm and surprisingly heavy.

“I-Inside.” Eleven's voice was so quiet it barely reached Erik's ears.

Erik tilted the pouch and let the contents slide into his open palm.

It was a pair of hoop earrings.

Erik blinked. He hadn't expected that. Wordlessly, he picked up one of the earrings and brought it closer to his eyes. The darkness made it difficult to inspect the finer details but despite that, Erik could see the earrings were nicely crafted – the shape was nice, little thinner than his own earrings, and dark carvings adorned the silver surface.

However, there were small imperfections, an odd bump here and there and the carvings were cracked in several places – the kind of mistakes that could easily happen when you weren't using a proper forge.

The kind of mistakes that could easily happen by using Fun Sized Forge without a proper recipe.

Suddenly, Eleven spoke, “This is probably pretty presumptuous and selfish of me.” his voice was shaky and almost apologetic, “And you can absolutely do whatever you want to – throw them away, sell them, give them to someone – I promise I won't get mad.”

Erik moved his gaze from the earrings to Eleven's face, “I... why would I do any of those things?” he blurted, voice incredulous.

Eleven looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him. He opened his mouth, hesitated and closed it with an audible click several times, expression shifting from nervousness into outright agitation as seconds passed.

Erik waited patiently for Eleven to gather his thoughts and eventually, the Luminary managed to break the silence. “...it's just that yours are golden,” he choked out.

Frowning, Erik raised his hand to touch the hoop earring adorning his left ear. The earrings he wore were worthless, mere trinkets the Vikings had 'graciously' bestowed to him when they had realized they were only painted with golden color but why did Eleven-

Erik's eyes widened as the realization dawned to him. Memories of golden halls inside a golden castle with golden knights flashed in his mind, along with the phantom feeling of stiffening joints as his arms, legs, torso, everything had been encased with gold.

“Oh.” the word escaped from Erik's mouth without him even realizing it.

Eleven was staring at the campsite, purposely avoiding Erik's gaze.

The truth was, Erik only remembered bits and pieces of the time after the fight with his transformed sister – the only things he recalled with clarity were how he had looked down at his knife and thought that he would have to kill her, the moment when he leaped to grab her hand and Mia's horrified expression when his body had started to turn gold.

Erik didn't think about those times spent in that cursed castle – Mia was saved, she was back to her normal self and nothing else mattered to him.

Erik hadn't realized that Eleven still thought about it. That he still felt so strongly about it that he went through the trouble of forging a new pair of earrings for Erik.

Wordlessly, Erik raised his hands and started pulling his earrings off. He mostly kept his eyes on the ground in hopes of easing Eleven's anxiety but occasionally, he made quick glances towards the other man to see if he was looking at him.

He was – Eleven's gaze was intense, like he was analyzing an art piece in a museum and Erik quickly averted his own eyes out of sheer embarrassment.

Once Erik was done, he pocketed his old earrings and flashed a grin to Eleven, “So, how do I look?”

Instead of answering, Eleven continued staring, a tinge of red on his cheeks and lips parted slightly.

And when he finally spoke, Eleven whispered only one word, a word Erik suspected he hadn't meant to say aloud.

“Perfect.”

Both men froze. The word lingered in the air between them, echoing in their minds like Eleven had shouted it from the top of his lungs. In the distance, they could hear voices coming from the campsite – such as Sylvando's laughter and Rab's boisterous cackles.

Erik recalled their teasing winks, playful nudges, and subtle encouragements. He remembered the wedding march and the quiet giggles.

And most importantly, he remembered his own feelings.

 _Screw it_ , he thought and stepped forward, expression determined and focused on Eleven. The Luminary's pale face was blotched with spots of crimson and his shoulders tensed considerably once Erik stood right in front of him, their chests almost touching.

 _Eleven is taller than me_ , Erik noted with slight surprise. It's wasn't an easily noticeable fact – the difference wasn't that big and Erik's spiky hair made him seem taller than he actually was – but it still felt odd, being forced to tilt his chin slightly to meet Eleven's startled gaze.

Slowly, Erik raised his hand and placed it on Eleven's cheek. The other man jolted slightly, eyes shifting between the hand and Erik's face.

“I don't have a lot of experience with, uh, feelings, and stuff,” Erik admitted in a low murmur, “But... I'm not reading this incorrectly, am I?”

Eleven swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing, “No,” he eventually whispered, “You're not.”

A grin spread on Erik's face, “Good,” he said before leaning forward.

The kiss was simple, just a mere press of lips and Erik pulled away after few seconds. It hadn't been really passionate nor had there been any sparks of fire igniting in Erik's belly and yet, his heart was hammering against his ribcage like it was trying to break free and Eleven...

Eleven was looking at him with such wonder twinkling in his eyes. Like Erik was some special, something more extraordinary than the Luminary.

(Sometime later, the brand-new pair of lovers came back to the campsite, hands interlocked and both smiling.

Sylvando was the first one to notice and the squeal he made probably scared every single monster in the five-mile radius.)

-  
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-  
-

Watching Yggdrasil rise felt bittersweet.

The sight of countless leaves glowing ethereally was breathtaking, the kind of view you were extremely lucky to witness once in your lifetime, and seeing the sunlight break through the thick, dark clouds was enough to make any person bawl with joy.

And yet, Erik could feel sharp pain sting his whole body as he watched Yggdrasil. There were too many bare places on the branches, so many spots that revealed the fragile brown bark underneath the green, serving as a painful reminder of the lost lives.

It was a bittersweet victory, they won the war but lost so many battles and for a moment, Erik didn't know how to feel, how to react because despite the bitterness, despite the lost lives and broken hearts, they had defeated Mordegon, the bringer of darkness, the origin of their misery.

They had won.

Somebody giggled. Erik didn't know who, the howl of wind in his ears distorted the voice but that laugh shattered the stillness and disbelief around them and soon, they were all laughing, their voices loud and borderline hysterical. They were all drunk on relief, on happiness and thousand of other emotions and Erik quickly tore his gaze from the rising Yggdrasil to look at his companions.

Serena was giggling hysterically between sobs, tears glistening on her cheeks and Erik had no doubts that she was thinking of her sister. Sylvando was spinning himself and Hendrik in a circle, the entertainer laughing and the knight spluttering. Jade was hiding her laughter behind one hand and the other one was grasping Rab's shoulder tightly while the old man openly wept.

Suddenly, someone grabbed Erik by his arm, pulling him backward. The thief let out a startled yelp as he almost fell on his behind, but before that happened he was pulled upwards and spun around by strong arms like a marionette.

“What are you-” Erik managed to utter out before a pair of hands clasped his head and pulled him into a kiss. The kiss was fast, just a mere smack of lips that didn't last even a second and when Eleven pulled away, Erik felt his breath getting stuck in his throat.

The Luminary was beaming, mouth spread into a wide smile that revealed his pearly white teeth and countless emotions – joy, wonder and a tinge of sorrow – danced in his azure eyes like a whirlwind. “We did it,” Eleven whispered, stroking Erik's cheek with his thumb and seemingly uncaring of the audience they had. His eyes were sparkling, both from the emotions and unshed tears and he was the most breathtaking thing Erik had ever seen.

Erik found himself grinning back, a tinge of red blossoming on his cheeks as he leaned forward, their foreheads touching. Somebody, most likely Sylvando, whistled loudly behind them.

A chuckle escaped from Erik's mouth. Mordegon was dead, Yggdrasil was thriving, Eleven's hands were calloused but warm against his cheeks and those were currently the only things Erik cared about.

“Yeah,” Erik hummed, “We did it.”

Eleven laughed quietly, voice and expression as radiant as the sun and Erik wished he would never forget that moment.

-  
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-  
-

Several weeks later, moments before Eleven shattered the Time Sphere, Erik found himself with a new wish.

Actually, no – he had several new wishes.

That one day, the world would stop being so cruel to Eleven.

That one day, the burden on Eleven's shoulders would finally vanish.

That one day, Eleven would be able to live his life just like he wanted to – and hopefully, that life would include Erik.

Maybe it was greedy, Erik thought as the Sword of Light collided with the Sphere. But well, he was a thief, he was supposed to be greedy.

And so, as the world around him filled with blinding light, Erik added one last wish.

That one day, he would see-  
  
-  
-  
-  
-

  
Eleven was acting strangely.

That wasn't anything new, the Luminary was a strange person; he never seemed to get rattled by anything and always could keep his calm no matter the situation.

But still, they had just defeated Mordegon, the harbinger of darkness; the man who had destroyed cities, homes, and lives; the person who could have potentially send Erdrea into ruin.

And Eleven merely stood there, mouth in a tight line, eyes somber and hands gripping his greatsword so tightly his knuckles were white.

“What's wrong with him?” Veronica huffed next to Erik, thin arms on her hips and eyes staring daggers at Eleven's back as they left the throne room. “We just won, right?! What's up with that sour expression?” her tone was biting but Erik could see the concern in the mage's eyes.

“I don't know,” Erik admitted. The admission left a bitter taste in his mouth because lately, there had been a lot of questions that Erik didn't know the answer to; how Eleven had seemingly gotten much stronger in a single night; where the hell he had found that disturbing greatsword that had managed to save their lives; why nothing, like the events at the Heart of Yggdrasil, hadn't rattled Eleven even the slightest?

Why he suddenly looked like a weary soldier back from the war?

Erik sighed. The adrenaline was fading away from his body, leaving behind weariness and sore muscles and it seemed like he wasn't the only one, as everybody else immediately headed into the guest bedrooms.

Erik had thought, hoped, that perhaps Eleven had been too tired to celebrate and all he needed was some sleep – and when the morning came and everyone gathered to the throne room, it seemed like his guess had been correct, as Eleven was visibly less pale, his expression seemed more relaxed and the conversation he had with King Carnelian was as casual as you could have with a king.

And then the sky went dark.

The moments after that were blurry for Erik – one moment they were celebrating and then suddenly it felt like the end of the world. In Erik's opinion, seeing the Erdwin's Lantern fall felt like a slap in the face. He stood on the balcony with his companions and the King, eyes transfixed on the dark smoke and mouth ajar.

The sound of frantic footsteps made Erik tear his gaze away from the sky. He turned around, only to see the ends of a familiar purple jacket disappearing behind the balcony door.

“Where is Eleven going?” Serena wondered aloud with a concerned tone.

Erik frowned, “I... I better go and make sure he is okay,” he declared before running after the Luminary.

It didn't long before Erik found Eleven but when he did, all warning bells went off inside his head. The Luminary had stayed on the second floor and was currently leaning heavily against the wall, one arm thrown over his eyes and shoulders shaking.

Erik immediately rushed to Eleven's side but before he had a chance to ask what was wrong, the Luminary spoke, voice hoarse and barely above a whisper, “Was it a mistake?”

Erik's brows furrowed in confusion. “What are you talking about?” he asked gently, gingerly placing his hand on Eleven's shoulder.

However, it seemed like that was the wrong thing to ask. Eleven flinched, clenching his fists tightly and something that sounded like a halted sob escaped from his mouth.

The worry flooding Erik's thoughts turned into panic. “H-Hey, what's wrong?” he exclaimed, unable to hide the concern from his voice.

Eleven let his arm fall limply but as soon as Erik saw the Luminary's expression, he found himself wishing he hadn't done that.

Eleven's eyes – the brilliant, azure eyes that always seemed calm even in the raging storms, the eyes that Erik adored more than any jewel – seemed haunted. Lost and given up.

Erik barely prevented himself from visibly wincing.

“Everything was supposed to be fixed now,” Eleven mumbled, voice guttural and almost unintelligible, and glazed eyes stared at something over Erik's shoulder. “It was supposed to be good now but... but now there's another mess, another thing that needs to be fixed and... and...”

Eleven squeezed his eyes shut, “Have I doomed us all?”

A silence fell over them, thick and suffocating. Outside the window, Erik could see the gigantic dark orb raising higher into the sky. It was a sight that could cast shadows of despair and doubt in the heart of bravest people. Even Erik couldn't help but shiver at the view.

And yet, he wasn't afraid.

“No.”

The word echoed in the corridor loudly. It was only after several moments that Erik realized he had been the one who said it. “I...” he started, unsure what exactly to say. “I'm not exactly sure if I understand what you're saying but... Eleven, this isn't your fault.”

The Luminary opened his eyes, gaze looking down at Erik.

 _Oh, he is taller than me_ , Erik thought, immediately followed by the odd feeling of déja-vu as he continued speaking, “It's true we don't know what the hell happened out there in the Celestial Sands, but we will find out – I mean, it can't be harder than finding those six bloody Orbs scattered across the whole damn world, right?”

A quiet huff of laughter escaped from Eleven's mouth and some of Erik's agitation faded away.

“We have already saved Erdrea from evil and darkness once, I know we can do it a second time,” Erik stated, voice brimming with exaggerated confidence because that was all he could offer at the moment.

It also seemed to work; Eleven regarded him with a cautious look and suddenly, the Luminary reached his hand towards Erik. The rogue stayed still, barely daring to breathe as shaking fingers tucked some stubborn strands of blue hair behind his ear. Eleven's expression seemed to soften a little bit and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards.

But then, just when Erik was about to relax, the Luminary's eyes flickered to left and whatever he saw made his expression crumble down.

Eleven immediately pulled his hand back, fingers slightly grazing Erik's golden earring in his haste. “I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to – I... forgot that we aren't...” he stuttered, voice breaking in the middle, expression full of agony and pain.

Erik felt lost. Nothing Eleven said made any sense, nor did they give anything to Erik to grasp on so he could help the man in front of him. Admittedly, he had never been good at comforting but this time he didn't have a clue why Eleven was upset.

Erik's hands clenched into fists as anger and bitterness welled inside his stomach – towards himself, not Eleven – they had traveled together for months, had suffered together, had shared their pains together and he still didn't know what was causing so much pain to Eleven.

Eventually, Eleven closed his eyes and took a deep breath – something Erik now recognized to be his way of reclaiming his calmness. Eleven inhaled and exhaled several times, breath hitching occasionally like he was preventing sobs coming out of his mouth.

And when Eleven opened his eyes again, they were void of any emotions.

It was unsettling; even though Eleven often looked aloof, or even expressionless, there was still always something alive in his expression – like a glimmer of determination in his eyes, the set of his brows or the slightest hint of a smile on his lips.

But now Eleven looked like he was wearing a mask.

“Erik,” Eleven said, voice hollow, “I... Could you please tell the others that I'm not feeling well? I... I need a moment alone.”

Erik hesitated, reluctant to leave. It must have shown on his face because Eleven softly added, “Just half an hour in the guest bedroom, that's all I'm asking.”

Eleven raised his gaze, eyes pleading, “I'll be fine after that, I promise.”

 _Will you_ , Erik wanted to ask; because despite the empty expression and the hollowness of Eleven's voice, the Luminary was shaking like a leaf. Like his whole body was trying its best not to fall apart completely on the spot.

The very thought made Erik feel sick.

“Okay,” Erik eventually managed to force out. Eleven reacted instantly – his shoulders sagged with relief and he released the breath he had been holding. The fact that Erik was so useless that Eleven wanted to get away from him left a sour taste in Erik's mouth but he refused to show it.

“Thank you,” Eleven said. He didn't leave immediately – instead, he seemed to hesitate for a brief moment, eyes lingering on Erik and fingers twitching like he was considering touching or hugging the rogue.

Erik waited, heart hammering in his chest but eventually, Eleven turned around and walked away, heavy footsteps echoing in the empty corridor.  
  
Erik watched Eleven's retreating back, feet rooted to the floor. The places where Eleven had touched him tingled and for some reason, guilt and regret settled in Erik's chest like a rock.

 _I never should have let him break the Time Sphere_ , Erik thought before pausing abruptly.

“Huh.” he blinked. “What the hell was that?”

**Author's Note:**

> oh boy this ended up being angstier than I anticipated. I'll probably do a sequel once I finish the post-game but ugh, I hate grinding so yeah ahah
> 
> [Here](https://iiinuuu.tumblr.com) is my tumblr if you're interested. Unfortunately, I don't post a lot of DQ stuff
> 
> Comments are appreciated!


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